People Who Call Ellen DeGeneres, “Ellen Degenerate”

I can’t believe I’ve heard people do this enough to justify making a blog post about it, but because I’m from a podunk white bread area full of dipshits I feel compelled to do so. For those of you who are from an area less familiar with the taste of beer that costs under a dollar a can, I’m going to show you what I’m talking about in the form of a Simpsons reference:

As you can see, the Fox network in all its 90’s genius funded the depiction of an idiot so profound and accurate that I’ve nearly overdosed on the accuracy and profundity. It’s not even funny to me, really. And I’m not making fun of all rednecks or backwoods people, some of the smartest people I’ve ever met are from this area and carry the accent and mannerisms. Besides that, some of them know some freaky Appalachian folkloric magic and I need to be a little bit careful about pissing off that small contingent that got their hands on a smart phone.

But I digress, that’s not who I’m talking about here. Who I’m talking about are the people who genuinely think they’re intelligent and clever in throwing around the nickname, “Ellen Degenerate,” for Ellen DeGeneres.

I’m not even a fan of Ellen, I just happen to have been hearing this same name-based joke for nearly 40 years and it has annoyed me since I was a child. I realize that a few years ago a lot of things got thrown around about Ellen being difficult to work with or a total asshole, but that doesn’t really make someone a degenerate. I just don’t see how her background has anything to do with this nickname.

That’s how I know it can’t be based off of any sort of reality – which is fine, I don’t believe that all jokes have a grain of truth in them and I think that’s an incredibly stupid assertion anyway. Not all jokes are based in reality. Some are! And some are just totally stupid. In this case, it’s totally stupid, but manages to be completely unfunny at the same time. I feel a part of myself dying every time I hear it which is at least several times a year. I’m going to repeat that – I hear this same joke several times a year from different people.

But what really bothers me about the whole thing? Well, that’s how self-satisfied and clever these people feel after they make the joke as if they’re the first person to ever come up with it, like the low-hanging fruit of idiocy is something to be proud of. It’s like someone showing off all of their participation trophies that they got from playing tee-ball when they were 7. Sure, it’s fine and cute when you’re a 7 year old showing off your participation trophy, and participation should be encouraged in group activities…but when you’re in your 60’s, 50’s, 40’s, 30’s, 20’s, heck, I’d say anything over the age of middle school, you just look like an idiot. Sell those at a yard sale for 25 cents each along with your old copies of Animorphs and Box Car Children intermediate reader novels – you aren’t ever going to read them again and you’re just a hoarder if you hold onto them. Don’t tell me how much people are trying to sell them for on eBay, that doesn’t make them valuable, it just means you know how to use eBay well enough to select the highest price option in the dropdown menu.

And you thought you pulled one over on me, which pisses me off even more. You’re not smart. You know who you are.

So please stop this stupid joke forever. It’s not funny. You’re not clever. No one cares about Ellen DeGeneres in 2026. Just quit it.

I can’t believe I’ve heard it enough to make this the topic of an actual post here.

This world sucks.